Last year I passed through the valley of the shadow of death. I almost didn't make it out. I had known for a long time that I was depressed and had struggled with it. It's only now, however, that I have gotten past what I hope was the worst of it, that I can see how very long I had been in the penumbra of death's shadow. Years of sleepless despair gave me lots of time for reading in the middle of the night, but left me spinning slowly downward, seeing life as nothing more than marking time until the ferryman called my name.
This does not get better on its own.
And sometimes you have to hit a pretty hard bottom.
And sometimes you see that the abyss is about an inch to the right of the bottom you just hit.
This year has been a much better year in so many ways, but I don't think I am out of the penumbra just yet. So I am going to try to write about it all. But I am a very private person. It can be hard to speak.
The first posts here are from some years ago. I will add others as I am able.