. Alas, not me

03 November 2014

Soldier Undaunted -- Chapter 15.2

Just as they reached the woods around the house of Sorrow, they heard the horn calls rising at last from the City. Others from further south and east answered, then others echoed still more faintly until they were so far away that only the ears of Evénn could hear them. By that time they had crossed the grounds and entered the cellar. Jalonn lit the lamps near the door and faced Niall.
“Tell us what happened,” he said.
As briefly as he could, Niall explained how he had entered the City and gone home, how he had seen the dragon depart after sunset and not return, and how he had found the postern door guarded by true soldiers. His report contained all the necessary information, but Niall delivered it in a manner so fierce and utterly unlike him that it was at once clear he was holding something back. The answer was not far to seek. Arden knew at once that it lay in Niall’s returning to his home. Something happened to him there or else he found something there he had not mentioned. It pained Arden to think what it might be.
Master Jalonn took this in as well, weighing Niall’s words and silences against his savage mood. For a few moments he pondered it all, then said:
“Returning to your childhood home alone was a mistake.”
“How so?” Niall asked, almost surly at being questioned.
“It seems to have affected your judgment.”
Before Niall could respond, Evénn spoke up.
“If it was a mistake, Jalonn, it was a natural one, and not to be faulted now. Who would not wish to see his home after so long? And, had he gone elsewhere, we might not know about the dragon’s departure. What we shall do now, is the more important question.”
“Yes, what?” said Arden vehemently, his sense of Niall’s pain sharpening his own.
“Since we have made it back here undetected,” Master Jalonn said, “we should remain as long as we can safely do so. There are enough provisions for quite a while yet. In time the dragon will return, but, if we leave, we shall find it much more perilous to return. We need to vanish again for a time, and here is the place to do so. By dawn many will be hunting for us.”
“If I were one of the dragon’s men,” Agarwen said, “there would only be one question on my mind tonight. Did the killers of the guards come to the postern to get out or to let others in? After what happened at Prisca, Evénn, I would guess that it was to let you and your companions in. So I would hunt for you within the walls.”
“I doubt the dragon would have told them about me,” Evénn said.
“But he wouldn’t have to, don’t you see?” she replied. “Your name and your deeds are known to everyone, Evénn. I haven’t travelled as far as Arden or Niall or Master Jalonn, but I have seen children playing in the streets of the most remote towns, pretending to be you and your old comrades. Arden has seen it.  We've all seen it. Even the dragon cannot erase these memories. They are too much a part of us. And I can assure you that the men who removed the bodies from the streets of Prisca thought of you when they saw what happened there. And men talk, Evénn. Men talk. The dragon’s men know you are coming.”
“True enough,” Jalonn said, “but the commander of this City is no fool. Machlor understands that things are not always what they seem. He will have his men search outside the City as well. Still, there is little on these grounds to attract their attention. The cellar is clearly unknown. Else they would have plundered it years ago. Nevertheless we must ensure that we have left no tracks nearby to lead them to us. Arden, take Agarwen with you and search our path back as far as the field beyond the woods. You can find by night what the day will not disclose to them. But you must both be out of sight before it is fully day. Go now.”
“Yes, Master Jalonn,” Agarwen said. Arden was already out the door.
The two of them went straight to the far side of the wood, and slowly began working their way back, sweeping the ground closely, Arden first, then Agarwen following. By the time they had reached the garden again, the east showed the first hint of twilight; by the time they had crossed to its far side, the sky was pink and blue and orange; when the graves were just a few feet to their right, the red sun broke the horizon. Agarwen, amazed by how long the shadows cast by the low, grass covered mounds really were, smiled at the irony. Arden was on one knee examining something just ahead. To all appearances he never once looked at the graves, but she could almost sense their pull on him.
While Arden studied the ground and the first sun of morning flooded the garden, Agarwen allowed herself to be momentarily distracted by the beauty of the young sun, and watched its brightness grow as it lifted itself from the sea. She looked away and was lowering her eyes back to the ground, so they could complete their task and get out of sight, when she noticed that Arden was now looking straight into the sun. Something about his posture alarmed her. It had all the tension of a cat about to spring. His right hand was slowly plucking an arrow from his quiver. What he was looking at, she could not tell, but his head never stirred. She crept up beside him and glanced over. His eyes were the wide and tearing eyes of someone forcing himself to stare into the sun.
“What is it?” she asked.
“Look,” he said.
“I don’t see anything,” she said as she strained her eyes against the light.
“Then look again,” he said and leaped away.
In a few strides he was past the hill and starting down the slope to the beach.
“Arden, wait,” she called out. “Wait for Evénn.”
“Not this time,” his voice came drifting back to her.
She ran after him, knowing she should get the others but unwilling to let Arden face the dragon alone. Then she saw him, skimming just above the sea at tremendous speed, nearly invisible against the sun and the golden glare on the waves. In the time it took her to reach the bottom of the slope and cross the beach, the dragon grew much larger. His speed dismayed her. But waiting at the sea’s edge stood Arden, a tall figure, calm and unafraid, his face bright with morning, like the hero Agarwen had imagined him to be when she was a child. Then the wings of the beast filled the sky, and the sea itself seemed to be rising in wrath behind him. The sun was blotted out. She stood in shadow.
“Evénn!” she cried, turning, torn, thinking all was at an end.
But before Agarwen called his name, the dragonslayer had perceived the coming of evil. Already he was racing down through the tall grass to the beach, the sword of adamant flaming in his outstretched hand. At his side coursed the wolf and the hound. Behind came Jalonn and Niall.
With rising heart she turned again and heard the thrum of Arden’s bow – but not the words. The spell remained unspoken. The dragon slapped the arrow aside with careless ease.
“No, Arden,” she called out to him. “Use – ”
Arden let fly a second arrow, again in silence. This the beast engulfed with a jet of flame, which Arden and Agarwen had to dive aside to escape. As Arden sprang back to his feet, reaching for his quiver, the dragon veered up and away. With one of his talons he slashed at Arden, whom Evénn knocked out of its path at the last instant. Both fell to the ground, but the dragon was not done with them. For the rising sea, which Agarwen thought she had glimpsed in the dragon’s wake, was no illusion of terror.
She saw the green wave break over Arden and Evénn an instant before she was overwhelmed herself. It struck like a moving wall, tumbling her through a world now dark and hard, now soft and bright. It rolled on cold and strong, breathless, endless, timeless. No way up or out. No surface. No bottom. Only the sea. Then all at once it spurned her, casting her off as quickly as it had seized her. Agarwen was face down in mere inches of swirling water, tangled in the beach grass at the foot of the hill. Dragging herself to her knees she gulped air into her heaving chest, but when she tried to get to her feet the backwash of the wave now rushing seaward again took her unawares. She staggered and fell.
But strong hands seized Agarwen and lifted her up. She raised her eyes to the grim, sad face of Niall on one side and Master Jalonn on the other. They dragged her behind some rocks, to which they clung as the water raced foaming away. In a moment it was gone. Niall opened his mouth to speak, but Jalonn cut him off.
“Down!” he shouted, pulling them both to the sand.
A blast of the dragon’s flame flashed over them, immediately followed by the dragon himself. His tail lashed above them, striking the boulder they crouched behind and splitting it in two. Bits of stone rained down on them.
As Jalonn looked up to follow the flight of the beast, Arden was hauling Evénn out of the water far down the beach where the wave had washed them. The dragon was above them almost at once, slashing with claws and tail, but the sword of adamant parried every attack, burning more brightly with each blow. Then, crying out the words of the spell in a loud, clear voice, Evénn leaped high in the air. Back and up lurched the dragon, away from the blinding light of the sword. Yet Evénn’s thrust was swifter than the dragon’s retreat, and the sword’s very tip pierced his left front leg.
The wound was slight. But such was the might of the sword and the hand wielding it that a howl of pain and rage was torn from the dragon’s throat. He landed several dozen yards from Arden and Evénn. For what seemed an eternity, he stood glaring at them. His head was held low to the ground and his wings were unfurled to their full, majestic span. A murderous red light smoldered in his slitted eyes. His tail whipped back and forth, angrily lashing the shore. With a snap of his wings he stung them with a blast of sand. Then he breathed forth a gale of flame. Again the sword shone in answer and parted the flames, which raced around Arden and Evénn and down the beach.
The dragon drew himself back once more, and looked closely at them, narrowing his eyes. Then he spoke in a voice of serene disdain.
“From long ago I remember you, elf. Hero, they called you then, the dragonslayer. Well, here I stand alive, unslain, and far more powerful than I was before. What of that? Such as you cannot destroy me. To this boy here, no doubt, your kind may seem eternal, but we know better, don’t we? To me you last but the blink of an eye. Some of you even less than that: how is your family, dragonslayer? Do they live and breathe, or are they dust and ashes this age and more?”
The dragon laughed quietly to himself.
Evénn did not answer.
“Pitiful, dragonslayer, pitiful. Where have you been these last thirty years of the sun? I thought you would hide forever. We all did. Yet it seems you still have not grasped that all is different this time. This time you will die, but for you there is no returning, not until the ending of the world.”
Evénn still did not reply, but stood calmly, the glittering sword presented before him. His eyes were closed.
“Why won’t you answer or look at me, elf? Do you fear me so? Twice now this boy has looked me in the eyes. A fool he may be, but at least he is unafraid. His hatred has untrammeled his heart. I can feel it. Powerful, beautiful, it beats upon my brow like the heat of the sun. Isn’t that so, boy?” he said and looked at Arden.
Arden’s answer was an arrow loosed straight at the dragon’s eyes. Just before it struck the beast snatched it from the air. With a grin he held it up for them to see as he turned it this way and that and examined it. The shaft kindled in his talon and vanished in flame.
“Aren’t you forgetting something, boy?” the dragon mocked, gently at first, as if they were the oldest of friends, but then his voice grew harsh. “Fool, did you not think that I could take that spell from you just as we took everything else? You are not Mahar. You have not the faith to stand alone. No, no, the bow doesn’t suit you at all. Are you the best the dragonslayer could come up with? Did you think that I wouldn’t know you’d lead them here, man of sorrow?”
With a snarl Arden loosed another arrow, which was again plucked from the air and destroyed.
“Look at me,” the dragon commanded.
The power of his voice was terrible. The beast’s will seemed to reach out and close around him like a great hand. Now Arden tried to avert his gaze, but found he could not. The outward contest did not last long. Arden grew still. The dragon only smiled.
“That’s better,” he said softly. “Now we can do much together. Stand aside. We shall speak when my revels here are done.”
Arden turned and walked away, far past the dragon, until he stood with the waves washing his feet. The beast watched him go, then looked back at Evénn.
“Now, elf, now, slayer of dragons, it is just we two.”
Evénn’s eyes opened. A light shone there and all around him. He leaped forward like an arrow from a bow. In a great arc he swung the blade and a blue flame sprang from it, curving through the air like a whip. The dragon deflected the blow with a wave of his talon, but another followed, then another. Evénn drove the dragon slowly backward, step by step, but no matter how hard he pressed him, he could not get close enough to strike him again with the sword itself.
After a dozen more blows the dragon seemed almost to stumble. Then his tail darted from behind him and its tip struck Evénn hard in the side, staggering him. For an instant the light around Evénn and the sword dimmed. Now the tide of battle shifted. The beast was driving Evénn, forcing him to give ground. And as swift as the elf was, the dragon was swifter. Talons, tail, wings, jaws, and flame all battered at Evénn’s guard, striking as quickly and in as many places as lightning on a summer’s evening. Yet Evénn withstood each attack, retreating until at last they came to a stand again. Evénn’s eyes were shut once more and his sword did not waver, but he was breathing heavily. The dragon crouched, then rose up to his full height, towering over the still, small figure before him.
“We end this,” he said.
The beast threw back his head and roared. In that cry echoed the deaths of all who had fallen and the pain of all who had endured the ages of his cruelty. The horror of it stunned the waves and laid the sea flat. The wind dropped. The morning failed.
Down at the water’s edge Arden heard that cry, heard the souls that seemed imprisoned within the dragon’s sunless heart. He tried to tear his eyes away from the mirror calm sea, but his body would not answer his will. All he could do was look upon the water and listen to the myriad voices calling out across the years from the last night of Narinen. Their chorus swelled with every death, with every life of suffering thereafter. Arden had heard that cry before, at the Mountain Gate and in the City square. His face burned where the dragon’s blood had touched it long ago. The sting of it was on his tongue. He recognized his own voice among the thousands.
“Man of Sorrow,” he murmured to himself as the roaring ceased. Then through the murk of the spell he felt a gentle hand come to rest on his shoulder from behind. A thrill ran through him. Arden knew that touch. He turned his head in time to see the beast lunge forward at Evénn.
The rush of fire from the dragon’s jaws was met by the blue of the sword. As before the flames parted and swirled around Evénn and went streaming past him down the beach, but now the fire did not cease or slacken. The brilliance of the sword was swallowed up within the flames. Even then they did not stop. The very sands of the beach glowed red, melting in the furnace of the dragon’s wrath.
“Die!” cried Niall as his sword shattered on the right side of the dragon’s head. It did him no harm, but it interrupted his attack on Evénn. The beach was rolling with fire for a hundred yards in front of the dragon. There was no sign of Evénn. The dragon tilted his head sideways away from Niall and looked down upon him from the corner of his eye. Before Niall could react, the dragon seized and held him fast in one talon.
A shadow moved to his left and an arrow appeared, flickering with a green light. It splintered harmlessly against the dragon’s eye and fell burning to the sands. The beast looked around, more amused than concerned. There was no one to be seen. Another useless arrow appeared, this time from a different quarter. A third arrow followed and a fourth. But while the dragon did not see the bowman, he did spy Agarwen, the wolf, and Argos hoping to sneak up close along his side while he was distracted. All were dashed to the ground by a twitch of his tail.
He turned again to consider Niall, who was vainly gasping for breath and trying to pry open the talon that held him. Arrows from the still undiscovered foe struck him over and again, harmlessly all, and he ignored them. He laughed to himself and hurled Niall away from him. Then with a quick glare to his left he pierced the spells that concealed his last attacker. Jalonn stood revealed. He had one arrow left.
“I see you,” the dragon said in a voice nearly charming. “Yes, yours was the spell that sealed the tavern door in Prisca. I recognize its likeness to this one. Not bad,” he paused, “but not enough.”
Jalonn shot his last arrow and began to reach for his sword. With a dismissive wave of his talon through the empty air, the arrow was deflected and Jalonn knocked sprawling. The dragon gazed about him as if disappointed. His attackers lay strewn about on the sands or were struggling to their feet far away.
Farther down the beach the line of fire had now cooled and was burning lower, but the flames nearest him, where Evénn had stood, still blazed fiercely. On either side of the line, the sand had turned to glass.
“Are you still there, dragonslayer? Tell me you still live. These ones are no sport at all. But we can’t all be elf lords, I suppose.”
“I live,” said Evénn, who strode unscathed from the wall of fire. The light of his eyes and power was less than before, but his blade was still as bright. Its light glittered off the glassy sands as he advanced to meet the dragon. The beast opened his mouth, but it was another voice that spoke. He turned in surprise.
For the voice was Arden’s. And it cried out the words of power as he swiftly drew and released a shaft from Mahar’s bow. The arrow flew true, tracing a radiant green arc through the morning air. The beast recoiled, but too late. Struck high in the neck behind the jaw, the dragon stumbled in agony, but managed to keep his feet beneath him. One claw reached up and wrenched the arrow from the wound. Dark blood spurted out and soaked the sand beneath him. Stunned and enraged, he stared at Arden, who was raising the bow a second time. But Evénn darted forward and plunged the sword of adamant deep into the base of the dragon’s throat.
His cry of pain was shattering. And in the City, and miles and miles away across the coastlands in the fortress by the Great Road, and farther off still at Prisca high in the Green Hills, its echoes struck dread into the hearts of his soldiers and servants. They recognized that cry for what it was. They grew afraid. His thousands of slaves and subjects heard it, too, and knew that the world had changed once again. From their drudgery and troubles and starveling meals they raised their eyes, to see the dragon’s men stunned and trembling, and they began to rise up.
On the strand the dragon tottered and crumpled to the earth. His blood so stained the sands that no flood tide or winter of rains could ever wash them clean. From that day men called them the Blood Sands and would not walk upon them. The beast’s eyes were fading quickly. Their power was gone. He looked up at Evénn and Arden, who both now returned his gaze. Arden held another arrow notched in the bow.
“You have only made it worse for yourselves. I will not die entirely.”
“But die you will,” said Evénn, and setting his foot on the dragon’s throat, twisted the sword in the wound and tore it out. The blade smoked. Blood ran from it to pool at his feet. The light and malice in the dragon’s eyed went out. He was dead.
Evénn walked down to the water’s edge to cleanse his blade. It hissed as he submerged it, burning with the heat of the dragon’s blood. A long time passed in which the only sounds were of the waves, now rolling in to the beach once more, and of the wind in the beach grasses. Evénn stayed on one knee in the shallows, allowing the sea to wash him and his sword, while Arden stood over the carcass of the monster. Slowly the others gathered. Niall and Argos were limping. The wolf joined Evénn at the water. Arden knelt down beside Argos and wrapped his arm around him. He stroked his chest and put his head alongside that of the hound, who craned his head around to lick his cheek. They looked in silence at the dragon.
Evénn returned, putting up his sword and dousing its light. Weariness hung from him. He looked at Arden with a mixture of displeasure, relief, and sympathy. For Arden had not waited, and that had nearly been their undoing. Arden met his eyes briefly, then turned back to the dragon. He did not look pleased. Neither did Jalonn.
“Arden, you nearly killed us all,” Jalonn said. His voice was cold, and angrier than Arden had heard it since their early days together. “Why did you not wait? We fought this battle on his terms because of your hatred.”
“That wasn’t it, Jalonn,” Arden answered him softly.
“What was it then?”
“He already knew we were here. Didn’t you hear him? And he was coming straight for us – ask Agarwen. She was there. She saw him, too. The time had simply come.”
Jalonn looked quickly, dubiously, at Agarwen, who nodded to confirm what Arden had said, but the swordmaster was still hardly pleased.
“Don’t be too hard on him, Jalonn,” Evénn broke in before he could speak again. “After Prisca the dragon was bound to find us sooner or later, and it is difficult to fight dragons on any terms but theirs. So much power confounds all planning.”
“Even so,” Niall said, “how did he know precisely where to find us?”
“I think it was me,” Arden said.
“Tell us why, Arden,” Evénn asked as if he already knew the answer.
“I have the black dragon’s blood on me,” he said. “I tasted it the night Narinen fell. That’s why this dragon could touch my mind in Prisca once you drew his attention there, Evénn, and why he appeared so many times near Baran’s camp. He could sense the blood on me, and this time he found me. Isn’t that right, Evénn?”
“I believe so,” he said.
“That’s a troubling thought,” Niall said, “with our errand hardly begun.”
Jalonn looked sidelong at Evénn.
“How long before they come?” he asked.
“If the silver dragon is in Elashandra, we have perhaps a week.” Evénn said, never taking his eyes off Arden. “For the others it will take longer.”
“We leave tomorrow night,” Jalonn said.
“What I need to understand, Arden,” Evénn said, “is how you escaped his spell. I thought you were lost. The dragon thought so, too, or he would never have turned his back on you, not with Mahar’s bow in your hand.”
“Evénn,” Arden began, then hesitated as if he did not know what to say, “when he commanded me to look at him, it was like a great hand seized me and hurled me down a slope so steep and uncertain that no matter how I struggled I could never make my way back up it again. I was drowning in his power. When he told me to stand aside, my body obeyed. Inside I was screaming, fighting back, but nothing ever seemed so hopeless.”
“And then?”
“But when he roared, I heard his cry as I had never heard it before. Perhaps it was because of the blood or the spell, perhaps because you had wounded him, or because he was so intent on you that he forgot me. I don’t know. This time all I could think of was those who lived and died with that cry in their ears. All I’d lost came back to me. I could almost touch them. Then – then I remembered the words and knew I could fight him.”
Evénn waited for more.
“That’s all there is,” Arden said with a shrug.
“Very well,” Evénn replied, and to Agarwen’s eyes he appeared no more satisfied with Arden’s explanation than Jalonn had been before.
“What now?” she asked.
“For now,” Evénn answered, “we keep our eyes open. Soldiers may come. They may not. The fall of their Master will devastate and confuse them. Many will probably take flight. I have a feeling, though, that those who do not flee will have their hands full.”
“And soon the others will come,” Jalonn said, “and the war of retribution will begin. Bloody days await.”
“But we have succeeded today,” Agarwen said. “That is something.”
“It is quite a lot,” Jalonn said thoughtfully, “but we must conceal ourselves and see what else the day brings.”
“Evénn,” said Arden as they began to leave the beach, “what do you think the dragon’s last words meant?”
“What did he say?” Agarwen asked, looking at Arden who walked beside her.
“That we had only made it worse for ourselves by killing him,” Evénn replied, “that he would not die entirely. But I don’t know what he meant.”
“Doubtless we will learn in time,” Jalonn said.
“Just so,” Evénn answered. “That’s what frightens me most.”
Throughout the day, as always, they kept watch. After about an hour, Jalonn saw a strong detachment of mounted troopers approaching along the shore from the north. A hundred yards from the carcass they halted. Two rode forward. Their horses became harder and harder to control the closer they came. At last the horses grew so wild the riders had to turn back. Heading north towards the City at a dead run, they passed the other horsemen, and waved for them to follow. They did so at once, eager to be gone. Jalonn watched them out of sight, and, though he found much to trouble him in the events of the day, he smiled a smile that no one living had ever seen.
“Now let the tables turn,” he said.
That afternoon, on the far side of the garden, among the broken and scarred trees that refused to die, Niall found Agarwen watching the City. All day long scattered parties of horsemen had been riding back and forth over the plain, but there seemed little purpose to their movements. From what she could tell at this distance the same was also true along the walls. Steel glittered here and there, always in motion. Several hours ago smoke had started rising from inside the City. Now the fires were spreading. Flames could be seen, and the taste of smoke was in her mouth.
“She’s burning again, just like before,” Niall said as he sat down beside her.
“No, these flames are different,” Agarwen stated with some conviction.
“I hope so,” Niall replied, giving her a weak smile.
Agarwen got up.
“Get some sleep,” he said.
“I will,” she said and left him. His eyes were fixed on the City.
Agarwen walked back through the trees. For the first time she realized that these were the trees Arden had ridden through that terrible morning. Ahead of her across the garden lay the three graves. She half expected Arden to be there, almost wanted him to be, but he was not. The closer she came to them, the harder it became to look away. Agarwen wondered which grave was hers. There was so much and so little in a grave, she thought. At the last moment she looked away, trying to ignore a past that was not her own.
But the thought of those inescapable days and what they meant even now did not let her go so easily. The past followed her around the hill and down the slope to the wooded lane. She stopped outside the cellar door. Arden would be within, asleep perhaps. Agarwen decided to go look at the sea for a while. Between the trees and the rocks there was the fading hint of a path. It led off south, cutting diagonally across the easy slope, away from the melted sands where the dragon lay dead. At the bottom, where the red clay of the hill met the sand of the shore, a wide swath of beach grass grew, tall and trembling in the westerly breeze. Here she stopped and knelt down. Small waves curled and broke. Somewhere off to her left in these same grasses, Jalonn had concealed himself to keep watch on the shoreline.
“Shouldn’t you be asleep?” Evénn said.
Agarwen had not seen him lying there, not far off to her right, staring up at the sky.
“I thought I’d look at the sea first.”
He did not answer. They rested there for some time without speaking. His eyes were upon the heavens, hers on the sea. Finally he stood up, and brushed the sand from his clothing. It was time for him to relieve Jalonn. She looked up, and their eyes met. He looked like he had spent the day trying to find the missing piece to a puzzle.
“You’re thinking about Arden,” she said.
“Aren’t you?”
In her mind she could hear herself laughing softly.
“I told you he would never betray her,” she said.
He looked closely at her for so long she wished he would go away. Then he nodded and went off to find Jalonn.
The fires burned all night. By morning tall plumes of black smoke drifted off eastward on the wind. To Arden it was like the morning he could remember only in bitterness and pain. The day before that he had chosen one love over another and he had chosen wrong. Every day since then he had walked the path of remorse he had blazed for himself. Had he chosen differently, he told himself, they both might have died, would have died even. But had they lived, even in this world there would have been light. Now, this morning, he sat beside the grave that divided them, a boundary neither could cross except with their love. All through the years he had mourned her and rued his choice. Beside the grave he sat and weighed the loss that his vengeance had not lessened. He sighed heavily and began the litany to clear his mind and attempt to find some peace. He closed his eyes and laid his hand on her grave.
Someone was coming up from behind him. By his walk he knew it was Niall.
“How’s the leg?” he asked quietly.
“Better,” Niall answered in a low voice. “May I speak with you, Arden?”
“I’d rather be alone, Niall.”
“Not today, Arden. I have some things I want to show you.”
Arden beckoned him to a seat.
Niall sat down opposite him, and stared awhile at the grave. Arden looked at him with a face that strove to be impassive, but Niall saw more deeply.
“What is it, Niall?”
“When I was in the City, I went to my old house.”
“I know. Jalonn didn’t think it such a good idea.”
“He may be right. It was painful. It changed me.”
“That’s what pain does.”
“Much of me wishes I had never gone there, but some of me is relieved I did. Do you understand?”
Arden pondered, his eyes straying to her grave. For a minute or so he did not reply.
“What was it you wished to show me?” he asked.
“First I must tell you the whole story of my homecoming.”
Niall then began to tell Arden of his house and his home, of his mother and father, of his sisters, of all he had felt and found and lost the day he finally came home. As he spoke he drew from his pack the hairbrush and the mirror, his mother’s needlework and his father’s book of poetry. One by one he passed them to Arden, who examined each of them reverently before handing them back. Niall told him of his rage and his despair. Once or twice Arden nodded slightly, keeping his lips tightly sealed to repress the pain of sympathy. When Niall finished, Arden looked carefully at him.
“Thank you for telling me. What will you do with the things you brought away?”
“I will give them to my children and my wife, to keep alive the memory of my family.”
“It is hard to face loss like this close up,” Arden said, casting his eyes down. “I am sorry for your sufferings, Niall.”
“As I am for yours,” Niall answered, and paused long enough for Arden to look up again, “and for my part in them.”
A fierce pain shot across Arden’s face, causing him to wince and avert his gaze, but soon his composure returned.
“It was no fault of yours,” he said earnestly.
“Arden, I married the woman my heart chose, and with her I have known every blessing. You were cheated of that.”
“Not least by my own choices.”
“You could not have saved her.”
Arden remained quiet, striving to rule his mind and heart. He wished Niall would leave him to study the pain which brimmed within him. At length Niall stood up and started to go, but after a few steps he stopped. With his head bowed, he looked back over his shoulder.
“She loved you, Arden,” Niall said.
Arden did not answer or watch him go. His eyes were shut tight. Then to his lips came a sudden, clean tang of salt, like the seas of lost summer mornings. And alone beside the grave of Sorrow, Arden wept the tears he could not weep thirty years ago.

Soldier Undaunted -- Chapter 15.1

Fifteen

For three nights Niall’s companions had ridden south and east from their camp near the mountains towards the curving line of the small hills and bluffs which divided the green fields of the coastlands from the sandy shore. At the first night’s end an old barn built into a hillside offered them rest and shelter from the rain. Evénn watched the whole day while the others slept in turn, but the hills and fields around them were quiet, just as they were the next day, which they spent in the burnt out shell of a country house. The third dawn found them camped in a small wood just north of the mouth of a broad and shallow river. When asked, Arden told them that this was the same stream they knew from the little valley at the feet of the Green Hills, the same one which had carried them beneath the bridge three nights before.
It was from this wood that Agarwen first looked upon the sea. When they had seen to the horses and eaten a bit, she and Jalonn were to rest, while Arden and Evénn stood guard. But Agarwen was too full of anticipation to sleep. She was about to see at last the sight she had yearned for since she was a little girl. The salt edge of the air, which grew keener as they came down to the sea, and the rush and thunder of the waves upon on the nearby sands, drew her on. From the eaves of the wood she stared in wonder at the meaning of glory – the sea purple with dawn and the morning star brilliant in a clear, blue band of fading night.
When Agarwen glimpsed the sea days ago in a blaze of gold along the world’s edge, she believed its beauty was all her heart could desire. Now that the sea stretched out before her, ever shifting, never changing, making sport of light and color, of shadow and of shape, it stirred her beyond all imagining. The immense, timeless realm suggested by the red-gold limb of the sun emerging from the horizon, as if the sea were vast enough to drown the sun itself, dwarfed the forests and mountains of her experience. With the rising of the sun Agarwen awoke to a longing she had never known, to leave behind the mountains and woods of her home and know the sea. But the time for that was not yet. She remained at the woods’ edge, half lit by morning.
The sight of her brought a smile to the face of Arden, who watched unseen from nearby. Her bliss made her radiant, even in a travel stained cloak and muddy boots. He knew how long Agarwen had waited for this day. Patience was a thing he understood. The joy and wonder so plain on her face touched him, but he could not share them. He loved the sea as a man loves what is lost. The sad pleasure of seeing it again arrested him. Arden had wished never to come here again, to the sea, the City and the graves. Only the dragon could have brought him here. Only the dragon could have made him suggest the house of Sorrow. Arden turned his face from Agarwen and the sea. He threw his hood up and pulled his cloak close about him.
As they moved northwards that night they crossed again beneath the clouds and into the rain. After midnight they began passing the remains of homes Arden knew well. Every half mile or so they came to a place he could put a name to, a house he had played in as a child, or visited as a young man. Of some so little remained that ruins were much too grand a name for them: a low mound covered in grass was more like proud flesh over an old scar. That was what Arden found when they moved through what had been the courtyard of his own home, a grassy rise where the house had stood, a bit of wall towards the sea, the curving stone rim of their well.
Though all the buildings around the courtyard had been burning when he and Jalonn hurried past long ago without stopping – Jalonn had not let him pause, but dragged him onward – it surprised him that no more of it was left. Tonight, too, they hurried, but now they sought the evil they had once fled. Now Arden led them on. For these were the fields of his youth and he knew them even on the darkest night. Presently they crossed the land where Hedále had lived with his parents and brother. They skirted the burned wood of snags and stumps which surrounded the grounds, and headed towards the sea.
In the hour before dawn they came through the cold rain and mist to the hillside they were seeking. It was a mound about twenty feet high and over a hundred feet long, like the back of a great green whale cresting the surface for a breath before diving again. It sat at the top of a slope that ran gently down to the shore. A dense screen of pines and holly bushes covered the mound and the upper reaches of the slope, between which ran a narrow lane. Even in the gloom it was clear that this place had escaped the ravages of the dragon, but no hands had tended the path or pruned back the bushes as they once did. Arden plunged in.
When they came near the northern end of the mound, Arden threw his leg over Impetuous’ back and jumped down from the saddle. Over his shoulder he could see Moonglow’s face and beyond it the dark outline of Evénn’s head and shoulders. Turning to the hillside, he forced his way through the overgrown holly bushes, which would have rendered the cellar door invisible even in full sunlight. The barbed leaves snatched at his clothing and scratched his face. He felt his way along, searching for the stone archway which led in to the door. A dozen feet to his right Arden found it and broke it open. Before him was a black hole which yawned into a greater void behind it.
“This is it,” he said, the first words he had uttered in a day, and stepped inside. His hands located the lanterns hanging on either side of the door, just where he remembered them. Then using some of the tinder he kept in his pack, he kindled a tiny blaze on the dirt floor. He made sure the lanterns still contained oil and lit them. One he hung back by the door, the other he took with him as he moved farther into the cellar.
When Evénn saw the faint light appear inside, he passed a loop of line around the bush in front of the door to pull it out of the way. After Agarwen and Jalonn led the horses inside, he followed, shutting the door behind him. A warm glow at odds with the chill sea-damp of the air lit the cellar. Row upon row of shelves laden with boxes and jars stretched away into the gloom. Evénn saw Arden, already deep into the cellar, holding up his lamp and studying everything around him with care and deliberation. The gap between the two pools of light was growing wider, the shadows in between them more profound.
Evénn watched Arden go. Every step was taking him into the past in ways that not even recounting his story could. That was memory. However tenaciously he clasped it to his heart, it was a still a story he told himself. This was real, and here memory burned like dragon fire. Evénn suddenly became aware of Agarwen at his side, and realized that the power of the vision in which Arden walked was drawing him in, too. Evénn knew such visions all too well. He shook them off and looked at Agarwen. On her face was a concern she could not hide. He called out to Arden, who stopped at the sound of his voice. He called again, and Arden turned back reluctantly.
In time they found more lanterns and oil as they searched for provisions that might yet be unspoiled. Arden discovered some jars of fruit, the labor of Lady Gwinlan, in the western part of the cellar. There the smell of the fire in which the house had perished was still strong. The wooden stairway, which had led up to the kitchen, had collapsed, its upper end charred black and twisted from the heat of the fire. What had been the door lay flat across the floor joists above their heads. Doubtless another mound of ashes and dirt lay piled on top of them. Roots hung down between the joists. There was only one way into and out of the cellar. It was their fortress, but like every fortress, it was also a trap.
After they had eaten some of the fruit – peaches, pears, and apples mostly – to save the precious lamp oil they doused every lantern but one and rested. Evénn cracked open the outer door, to let in a little of the morning and so they could hear any noise outside.
“The rain has stopped,” he said as he sat down.
He leaned his back against the wall just inside the door. His sword was drawn and its hilt rested on his shoulder. A thin ray of light from the new sun cast itself across the darkness. They could hear nothing but the wind in the holly bushes and the surf not far beyond them. Arden sat down to Evénn’s right, about ten feet away. His blade, too, was bare and cradled against his arm and shoulder. His hand rested on the guard and he thumbed the edge thoughtfully, while staring absently into space.
In the dim light admitted by the door, Jalonn could see him sitting there. After an hour Arden’s eyes closed and he bowed his head. In a few minutes the expression of pain and struggle that Arden had worn these last three days, ever since they had departed their camp to come here, left his face. The peace that Jalonn saw there now was seldom visible except when Arden slept, and not always even then. Jalonn, too, had heard Arden murmur an unforgotten name in his sleep, but what he saw now, he knew, was the peace of forgetfulness, which came only when the mind fully shed the burden of waking. He had seen it in many faces in his time. For their times were hard and many besides Arden had suffered. Some fled their pain in other ways, in drink, in the juice of the poppy, and down many other dark paths that had no turning. Arden did not walk those paths. Instead of oblivion, he grappled with his pain and his memories and held them tight, refusing to forget. And refusing to heal.
“Does he forget them now,” Jalonn wondered, “and dream of the life he wanted?”
But if Arden found any comfort there, Jalonn also knew that before long he would wake as he had seen him do often over the years he had known him. Forgetfulness would fade and his face would put back on its sadness. Arden’s face had changed some with the years. Gone from his eyes was the blazing rage of their first months together when Arden’s pain was always on the verge of bursting forth. Though he had been but a boy, it had made him a warrior to be feared, capable of defeating opponents of greater skill and experience; but the recklessness accompanying it also made him vulnerable. Arden’s body bore the scars, and Jalonn had saved his life more than once.
Time and the discipline of the Rangers had largely subdued that rage and under discipline it became a source of ever greater strength. But just as a father and mother can still hear, decades later, the voice of their little child in the grown son or daughter, so Jalonn could even now descry the shattered boy he had found beside those graves a lifetime ago; and as they drew nearer to the house of Sorrow he had seen that boy more clearly yet in the man who grew more silent by the hour. Arden was fighting to master what he could not master as a boy.
Knowing Arden as he did, Jalonn had foreseen this. For, though in the months since Evénn had come Arden had become less solitary, and at times even affable, Jalonn knew that Arden would withdraw from them once again. How could he not when he was preparing to step once again onto the stage where the scenes of his life’s destruction had begun to be played out even before the Fall? After many years of loneliness and wandering, Arden was returning home to exact his vengeance, but the heart which he had lost, though never forsaken, could not be restored. The dead could not return.
Jalonn roused himself from these reflections to find Evénn looking at him. In the elf’s eyes he thought he perceived an understanding of all that had been passing through his mind. It irked him that sometimes Evénn seemed to know what they were thinking, as did the suspicion that he knew more than he had told them. After a moment Evénn withdrew his gaze, sighed and reached down to stroke the wolf who lay beside him, his nose wedged in the narrow opening they had left, sniffing the air outside.
Looking around, Jalonn saw Argos curled in a ball against Arden’s side. Both slept. The horses were unsaddled and tethered in a line down the cellar’s broad central aisle. From time to time they shifted their feet. Agarwen, Jalonn saw, was looking at Arden, her face a mask of concern and affection. As ever it grieved Jalonn to see her like this. For he knew how it shamed Arden to be unable to requite her love; yet it was part of her nature never to relinquish any hope entirely. He caught the glimmer of that pain in Arden’s eyes whenever he stole an unobserved glance at her.
“Agarwen,” he whispered, “you must sleep. Your watch begins in two hours.”
She met his eyes, then lay down reluctantly and rolled away from him, pulling her blanket up over her shoulder.
Evénn looked at him again and nodded. Jalonn closed his own eyes and slept, his back as always to the wall, his face to the door. Watch succeeded watch. In turn Agarwen, then Arden, then Jalonn joined the tireless elf, who yielded his post but did not sleep.
In the dusk Arden and Agarwen slipped out to take up positions atop either end of the hill, to keep watch for a few hours before it was time to go. On her right, down the slope past the stunted pines and the beach grass, small waves were tumbling onto the shore, their foam still bright even now. On her left was a broad open area with a heap of earth and ruins at its center: the gardens and the house. During the day Agarwen had kept trying to imagine them. She summoned up every detail of Arden’s story she could recall, but they were much larger than his tale suggested. Agarwen found this dispiriting. The memories and emotions that haunted Arden elsewhere proved almost tangible here, even for her.
Directly ahead, off beyond the woods and fields to the north, was the City, their destination. Like every Ranger, Agarwen knew much of Narinen, though she had never been there. Only a few score still lived who had. During her training she had studied it – or her as Arden and Niall usually put it – to learn its history and laws, its ways and its streets. To the Rangers, the keepers of memory, the City stood for all that was best and all that would be again. And on that morning when they came down the hills from Baran’s camp and saw it shining in the sun, Narinen had seemed all of that; tonight between the moonless dark and the gloom of her thoughts she saw it as the present ghost of all that was lost.
Yet Niall was somewhere within those walls. She wondered where he was, and whether he was safe. Only one thing, she knew, could keep him from the door at the appointed hour, but she wished he were here with her now. He would have made some irreverent jest to make her laugh. After three days of dour silence from Arden and spare words at best from Master Jalonn and Evénn, a laugh was just what she needed. Instead she spent the mirthless hours of her watch thinking of the fallen world into which she had been born, and of the dead girl in the garden whose fate somehow touched them all.
Agarwen was asking herself what it would have been like to grow up in a world without such cares when she heard the cellar door creak. The soft hoot of an owl summoned her and Arden from their posts. She came upon Evénn near the door, the wolf before him and looking at her. His tail wagged slowly a time or two. Jalonn was just emerging from the holly bushes. Beyond them she could just make out Arden’s form, tall and broad shouldered, his face invisible beneath his hood. Argos paced around him, his own impatience to be gone mirroring his master’s. At a signal from Jalonn Arden led them swiftly around the northern end of the hill and up into the garden.
“Careful there,” came his voice in a hush.
His hand darted out to his left, a gesture almost dismissive, but it lingered too long, pointing at the three graves. Over the years the mounds heaped over them had sunk so low that they were now scarcely distinguishable from the earth around them. Agarwen was surprised that she had not recognized them for what they were during her hours on watch.
“Here is where his heart dwells,” she thought with a pang.
Behind her at the rear of the line Jalonn paused, put one hand to his breast, and bowed his head a moment before hastening after his companions. Then they were out of the garden and passing through the trees beyond it. Quickly they crossed the fields between the woods and the City, slanting always towards the postern door. The line along which Arden led them was as true as the line he had followed the morning after the Fall. Once they saw a patrol of two dozen troopers heading south along the road from the gate, but their leisurely progress made clear that their duties tonight were routine. Wherever Niall was, he had raised no alarms inside Narinen.
A quarter of a mile from the postern the companions stopped for more than an hour while Evénn counted and timed the guards walking atop the walls. Every twenty minutes four soldiers strode by. Once Evénn was satisfied, Arden led them forward again. They crept closer a hundred yards at a time, flitting from shadow to shadow, ditch to ditch, and tree to tree, until they lay flat in the tall grass just beyond the road that ringed the City. Another hour went by. No challenges rang out from above. No alarms were raised. Then Evénn raised his hand to signal that they were between patrols. Arden stole across the road with the others at his heels.
As Evénn had suggested days ago, the roses at the base of the walls still lived, though they grew untended and wild. Long, riotous branches were everywhere, armed with thorns that bit and clung. When the companions reached the door, they crouched as close beneath the bushes as they could. And they waited. Agarwen looked back out at the stars high in the southern sky. The Dragonslayer was at his zenith, and Agarwen smiled. It was midnight.
But the hour came and went with no sign of Niall. No one unbolted the door. No sounds could be heard from the corridor within. Nearly an hour later, Evénn suddenly raised his head.
“There is battle within,” he murmured.
They all heard steel ringing dimly on steel. Almost two dozen blows they counted, and tensed at each one, fearing the raised voice that would summon the guards, expecting a horn call and the rush of booted feet along the wall. The last four blows were very heavy, coming quickly one upon another. Then all fell silent. Minutes or hours later they heard the bolts rasping in the door. Arden leaped to his feet and waited beside it, his sword poised for a thrust.



In sunset's red hour Niall looked out upon the City again. In the raking light, every wall, every building, every surface he could see was tinged with the dying light. That suited him well. For since that morning he had burned to rush from the house to kill as many of the enemy as he could before he himself fell. Against these bloody thoughts he forced himself to set his love for his family and his duty to the others. Over and over he told himself that if he failed in his duty he would fail also in his love. It was barely enough. All day he sat in that room, sharpening his sword and dagger. When he was done, he thumbed their edges and whetted them again, over and over until they owned a keenness as fierce as the rage that possessed him. With each pass of his whetstone, Niall counted a life he would take.
He was satisfied. His blades could be no sharper. He wiped the blood from his thumbs and put his gloves back on. Hours more remained before midnight. Strangely, the City’s bloody aspect soothed him, all the more so as the deepening twilight robbed it of its color. In the living red and the gray and black to which it yielded, he found a mirror of his soul. In that hour he was calm, but it was, Niall knew, the dead tranquility of one whose illusions had all been crushed, one who knew only despair and the desire to strike with no regard for his own life. Fey is what the old Rangers of the Valley would call him, as some had long called Arden. He knew that, too, and he did not care. It amused him that now, as Arden seemed to be creeping back to the light and life of men at last, he should suffer this turn himself. He smiled, but it was the smile of one who did not care.
As he stood gazing out the northern window of that room towards the shattered halls and buildings which surrounded the main square, in the last glimmer of light there came a flash of red. And the dragon crawled from a large hole in the roof of the Hall of Kings. He paused on its peak. Turning his head slowly on his elegant neck, the dragon surveyed his realm below. Then he clambered swiftly up the ruined western tower and perched there, stretching his vast span of wings. A long while he stayed there and looked down on Narinen. At length he took flight more easily than any bird, and came sweeping low over the square, towards Niall, who cursed not having Arden beside him with Mahar’s bow in his strong hand. Now they could do it. They could wait until last moment – till the dragon was about to pass out of sight overhead, till he was so close that not even he could react in time – and let the arrow fly.
But Arden and the bow were not there. They were at the house of Sorrow. The beast circled back north again, rising over the broken roof and the unequal towers of the Hall. Several sharp beats of his wings sped him out and away from the City. He was gone into the gloom of the north.
“Damn him,” Niall growled. “Damn him.”
The object of all his hatred and of all their efforts had just slipped away. Niall watched and watched, while the few, bright stars of evening gave way to the tens of thousands which lit the night. He strained his eyes to catch the shadow of the dragon returning against the starlight. But there was no shadow to see, neither above nor on the roof and towers of the Hall of Kings.
At last Niall’s time ran out. Midnight was an hour away. The others would be somewhere in the fields outside the postern door, waiting for him. It was time to go, but halfway to the door a sudden thought stopped him. As much as he regretted coming here, this house was still his home. He did not wish to leave it empty-handed. From his sisters’ room he took the hairbrush and hand mirror. In the parlor downstairs he plucked the scrap of needlework from beneath the chair, and in the library the book of poems from the shelf. He stowed them as carefully as he could in his pack. Then he loosened his sword and dagger in their sheaths and, bow in hand, turned his back on the house of his youth.
From there to the postern was little more than a mile, but for Niall the going was painfully slow. At this hour not many people were left on the streets. Most were hurrying home, but some tarried to have a drink and a few minutes of talk in makeshift taverns. Dim lights burned in upper windows. But except for the watchmen on patrol, everyone he saw in the torchlight outside the taverns appeared poor, their clothing worn and frayed, their faces often dirty. Niall viewed them all from shadowy doorways and around the corners of the alleys by which he wove his way from street to street. He never stayed on any one street for long.
Once he turned into a narrow street which he had expected to find empty since in his youth it was home to the workshops of small craftsmen where no one had any business at this hour. Instead a small crowd of about twenty men and women were gathered around an open fire outside a tawdry shop. They talked and laughed loudly, like people deep in their wine. Niall flattened himself against a building and watched them closely. They were too taken up with their pleasures to have seen him. He looked the other way up the street. There was no side street or alley he could cut through. Niall was tempted to go back, but there was something about their laughter that prompted him not to retrace his steps and seek another way around. He gathered himself and strode straight down the opposite side of the street. But their laughter died as they spied him, and in silence they pretended not to watch him pass. It was only when he reached the next street over that Niall remembered he was cloaked and hooded in the black of the dragon.
A few more twists and turns and Niall was there. He did not know it, but he stood in the same spot, his back against the same wall, as Arden had done many years before. Here at the edge of the City all was darkness and starlight, and as he waited in the stillness Niall thought he heard the slightest noise from around the corner. Slowly he edged to the very corner of the building, drawing an arrow from his quiver and stringing it in his bow. His head inched forward until he could see. The door was held against him.
Six cloaked figures stood before the door, motionless as stone carvings on a frieze. Their bearing and mute discipline made clear that these men were soldiers, unlike the bullying watchmen he had seen elsewhere in Narinen. He drew his head back. The door was some thirty yards away. For some time he waited to see if by chance they might leave or be summoned away, but the minutes slipped by until an hour had passed. While he stood there counting his breaths and trying to quell all the feelings this day had given rise to within him, he considered the departure of the dragon and the presence of these men here tonight, at a door previously unguarded. But this was no time, he told himself, to sort that out. It was now well after midnight and every minute’s delay left his friends outside the walls and vulnerable to unfriendly eyes. It was time to act.
Before he had fully rounded the corner, his first arrow had felled the nearest guard; seconds later he loosed the next into the guard beside the first. His third pierced the throat of another as he started to run at Niall, drawing his sword as he came. The other three were closing on Niall now. Another arrow would leave him no time to draw his sword. Niall threw his bow at the feet of the foremost, who leaped high to avoid it. As his feet touched the pavement again, Niall was upon him, sword in hand. He stooped low and cut his legs from under him.
Then he was up, dagger in his left hand and sword in his right. On another night Niall might have let the two come to him, and circled to one side, using the nearer opponent as a shield against the further. But not this night. He attacked them with a relentless passion that would have baffled the friends waiting for him even now outside the door.
Nor did his enemies expect his headlong charge. Niall fought them two handed, striking at his sword-hand foe, but only parrying and feinting with his dagger. As Niall wished, the swordsman to his left sensed in this an advantage he could press. And when Niall’s sword-hand opponent slashed at Niall, the second lunged forward with a killing thrust. But Niall was not there. Instead of parrying the blow of the first, he had leapt backwards out of range, which exposed his lunging second opponent to a forehand slash to his throat. Then in three vicious blows Niall beat down the guard of the last man and with a fourth killed him.
He checked each of the fallen, his dagger ready in his hand: all were dead. Niall sheathed his weapons and retrieved his bow. Finding the inner door of the postern unlocked, he opened it. Inside he groped his way along for about ten feet before he met any obstruction. It seemed to be a large wooden box as wide as the corridor and nearly as tall as he was. Returning to the street, he dragged the bodies into the corridor. For now the night would conceal the blood in the street. Niall closed the door behind him.
In the utter blackness of the tunnel, Niall felt his way back to the box and heaved himself to its top, but he had not crawled more than a few feet before his hand reached out and touched nothing. He jumped back down and continued along the right hand wall, expecting some new obstruction. There was nothing to block his way. His hands touched the oaken outer door. Niall found the bolts and drew them one by one, then pushed the door open a few inches.
“Niall,” he heard Arden say in a voice soft but urgent, “we heard swords. Are – ”
“The door was guarded,” he answered sharply. “And the dragon is gone. We have failed.”
Back as they had come they fled. Arden would not leave until Evénn and Jalonn dragged him from the open doorway. If their approach to Narinen had seemed to them slow, with brief intervals of haste woven together with watchful delays, their return was slower still, though nothing but silence pursued them. No horns, no shouting, no South Gate flung open to loose squadrons of horsemen upon them. Niall felt it most, knowing the blood he had spilled behind him and hoping they could reach their horses before the chase began. Though it was clear by now that none of the patrols had been close enough to hear his brief affray with the guards at the door, soon enough an officer would come to check their post or to bring them their relief.
For the others the journey was also long with concern. They knew only the little Niall had said at the door. Jalonn and Evénn had not let them linger. Explanations could wait until they knew they had no enemy behind them. Arden walked last of all, debating whether he should turn back to the City alone or wait until he could hear Niall’s tale. Agarwen stayed close by Arden.
__________________________


Soldier Undaunted -- Chapter 14.2

Hours later the return of Agarwen and the wolf awakened him. When the scouts had not come back along the eastern side of the hills, Jalonn had sent her to seek them in the valley. She had spotted them several miles north, then hastened back to warn the others of their coming. Though the rain had removed any trace of the companions, it was good that they had moved their camp. For the scouts passed right through that area, watched closely from the ridge by Arden and Agarwen and from the hillside opposite them by Evénn and Jalonn. At times they and the scouts were within twenty feet of each other, but the companions let them go by. Once they were gone, Jalonn and Evénn shadowed them to make sure they left the hills and were on their way back to their camp across the Road. They followed them almost as far as the Road itself, and watched until they saw the camp gates close behind them.
By the time Evénn and Jalonn returned, a dreary dawn was looming in the eastern sky. The rain did not look to be ending soon. Throughout the day they took turns resting, then watching the camp and Road to learn all they could before they made their own move that night. Nothing seemed unusual. There were no signs of trouble, or that the enemy had any suspicions that they were near. Clearly Niall was, if not safe, then at least alive and undetected. They all wondered how far he had traveled and where he might be lying hidden until night returned.
Except when necessary, the companions did not move or speak through all the hours of murky daylight. Only when it was fully dark did they begin to make ready their departure. As Niall had done the night before, they assumed the black cloaks of the dragon’s men. It was a small advantage the cloaks conferred, but in battle a bare instant’s hesitation on the part of an enemy could be all they needed. Yet they feared any such encounter – for they were too few to fight their way through to the City – and they hoped to avoid all combats but one. With every step of their journey, secrecy pressed more urgently upon them.
Three hours after dark, Jalonn and Agarwen left the camp with the horses, and crossing the hills they found Arden and Evénn in the middle of the eastern slope of the last hill. Argos and the wolf were further down, concealed in the underbrush. The scouts had gone by nearly two hours earlier on their way north; and by the time they returned the companions knew they must be far away.
For the land north of the Great Road was now bare of all but grass. The many copses which had once grown nearby had fallen to the axe or perished in flames; of the old cottages, farms, and country houses, overgrown mounds were the sole marker; even the stone walls dividing one man’s land from another’s were gone. Only the hills remained. Low and green, widely spaced like long, slow swells of the barren sea, they ran from northwest to southeast and steadily bent the course of the valley stream towards the Road. With no hope of cover or shelter there, the companions had to cross the Road well before daylight and press on until they came to more remote areas where the relics of house and wall and grove still traced the patchwork of an unfallen world.
Yesterday’s rain had continued with few breaks until just after sunset today. Though it was oppressive, it made the darkness darker and helped hide them from the scouts from the fort. Even so they did not dare to ride faster than a walk, lest the sound of their horses’ hooves, muffled though they were by the rain and soft turf, give them away. Whenever they could they traveled in the bed of the stream to avoid leaving any tracks. The downpour also masked the sound of them splashing through the water, but on the far side of each hill they passed, another stream appeared from the north to swell the stream they were following. It grew steadily in depth until it reached the horses’ knees. Soon it would be a river and too deep to travel in easily.
Three hours into their journey, Arden returned from his position several hundred yards ahead of them, where he had left Argos and the wolf on guard. He came up at a fast walk and reined in.
“About five hundred yards from here is the last of these hills,” he said, “which continues across the road for some miles. It blocks the river’s path eastward and turns it southeast towards the Road. Once we reach that hill, the banks will become much steeper. That will help conceal us, but it could also trap us if we are seen. We’ll need to know if there are any guards at the bridge.”
“How far from the bend in the river to the bridge?” Evénn asked.
“Probably two hundred yards.”
“Wait for me there. My eyes are better in the dark than yours. I’ll take the wolf with me. If there’s any difficulty, I’ll send him for you.”
“Go,” Jalonn said. “We’ll meet you at the bend in the river.”
Evénn dismounted and loped swiftly off into the night back the way Arden had come. Arden, Agarwen, and Jalonn waited a few minutes, then set off. They found Argos where Arden had left him. Of the wolf there was no sign, but the hound stood alert and staring in the direction of the bridge, his head and ears moving slightly to pick up the least sound. Soon they reached the last hill. They rode far enough along the river for the banks to rise on either side and conceal them completely. Dismounting they went forward to the bend and looked along the river’s course towards the bridge, which they could just make out through the murk. They thought they could catch the faintest glimmer of light at either end of it, probably from guardhouses. Here they stopped to await Evénn.
He arrived a half hour later. None of them heard or saw him and the wolf coming until the last instant. Only the cry of an owl signaled that he was near.
“We must hurry,” he said. “The guards will soon awaken.”
“How many?” Jalonn asked.
“Just two, one at either end of the bridge in a small shack, but they were sleeping when I left them.”
Arden could hear the smile in his voice.
“What did you do?” Agarwen asked.
“Time for that later,” Jalonn answered her.
As swiftly as they could, they rode down the banks and into the shallows, but the nearer they came to the bridge, the steeper and narrower the banks became, forcing them further into the swelling river; and the more the banks narrowed and confined the waters, the more rapid and turbulent the current became, until it hurried them along towards the bridge. The Rangers struggled to maintain control of their mounts, all whose years of training were barely enough to stave off panic. Only Moonglow braved the rushing and shoving of the water calmly, as Evénn bent low beside his neck and whispered in his ear. Argos and the wolf swam strongly ahead of them, though the swirling of the stream twisted them first one way, then another. They reached the bridge first and shot beneath it and out the other side. The companions came quickly behind them in succession, one after another, ducking their heads at the last moment to avoid striking them on the timbers which supported the bridge.
In another two hundred yards the banks began to sink and the channel grew wider. Presently the river slowed and shallowed enough that they were riding comfortably again. In another quarter of a mile it swung east once more and they emerged on its south bank. They rested briefly beneath a small group of elms not far away.
“Tell me, someone,” Agarwen said, “tell me we won’t be crossing any more rivers any time soon. Just now dragon fire seems preferable.”
“Don’t say that,” Evénn said humorlessly. “Not even in jest.”
Agarwen looked sourly at him, then at the others. They were all drenched and looked quite miserable. The rain kept falling. A few minutes later, she turned to Evénn, who stood looking back in the direction of the bridge.
“What happened at the bridge?” she asked.
“The guards were both very young and looking rather drowsy. So it was easy to surprise them. I used a hold to put them to sleep.”
“Why did you spare them?”
“They were boys, Agarwen. And because sometimes the living are more silent than the dead.”
Arden chuckled at this.
“What he means,” Arden said, “is that dead they are witnesses to the presence of an enemy, but alive they will be too scared to tell their sergeant they allowed someone to sneak up on them.”
“We’ve rested long enough,” Jalonn said.
“Which way then?” Agarwen asked.
“South. It’s after midnight, and we need to find shelter before morning.”



The dockyard and harbor were shutting down after an exceptionally busy day for the middle of winter. A half dozen ships had put in that morning and the men of the wharves had been hard put to unload all their cargo. Some of it had already been moved into warehouses or carted up to the City, but much still sat on the docks, waiting for the wagons which would haul it to Narinen the next day. The sun had set two hours ago and after a long day of toil the wharf rats, as the laborers on the docks called themselves, were making their way home, locking the gates and warehouses behind them. Only the main gate remained open. Beside it stood a small building at which the watchmen began and ended their patrols of the dockyards. Beyond the gate was the broad paved roadway that ran between the Long Walls from the water to the Sea Gate of Narinen.
The smell of the sea was strong in the harbor, borne on the same light breeze that rolled small swells between the headlands from the northeast. Despite the arrival of so many merchant ships that morning, Niall saw the harbor as nearly empty. Gone was the forest of men-of-war he had marveled at for hours on end when a boy. Their lofty masts, square sails, crossed black yards, and endless miles of cordage were the stuff of his dreams. Those tall ships circled the world, escorting merchant ships, charting islands, and mapping distant coastlands. On their return they made the City hum with news of sundry lands beyond the great seas and the strange seeming customs of foreigners. Now a few broken masts jutted up from the waters here and there, marking the place where their burning hulls had slipped hissing to the many shadowed bottom.
That was a generation ago, and Niall had been a young man then, full of such hopes and expectations as young men have. Though he had not been here that awful day, six months later at Sufra he had witnessed the same ruthless slaughter, the same fruitless courage, the same horror. With a pitiful handful of survivors, Niall had taken refuge in the woods and hills nearby. Every day they fought the enemy who dogged their heels. Every day their numbers dwindled. Every day they withdrew further into the wilderness.
When the Rangers found them, there had been not quite a dozen of them left. By unexpected paths the Rangers led them away from the enemy, but hardly to safety. Four of his comrades died of their wounds along the way. One lost his footing on an icy mountain and slid over a precipice. Another drowned crossing a river. Three more froze to death in the bitter, bitter winter of that year as they fought their way across the high northern desert which stretched westward from the feet of the Stone Mountains. For that land was bare and barren. No tree or flower grew there, not a blade of grass nor bed of moss. They crossed that choking wasteland and climbed those shelterless mountains and, in the late spring of the next year, descended into the far north of the basin to the west of the Gray Mountains. A long journey awaited them still, filled with battle and sorrow, before they could reach the Valley of the Rangers. Yet the horror of the dragons and of the wastes was behind them. And Niall was young then and strong. He mourned and bent with the breeze. He started life anew.
But Niall did not forget those days or the names of his comrades fallen in battle or lost in the hell of the north, men they could not pause to mourn or bury. The need that drove them was too great, and the desert and mountains were as hard as the dragons’ bones. He thought of them as he looked from the upper story of the waterfront storehouse he had chosen for his hiding place last night. And he thought of them with shame. For with the years their faces had receded into a darkness Niall could not resist. Most were only names and a feeling. A few persisted as no more than fractured images: Merrel’s darting eyes, Hanon’s lopsided grin, and the freckled cheeks of Cirran, youngest of them all, not a soldier, but a shepherd found hiding in the woods, as deadly with his sling as any archer with his bow. He loved them still, vanished or not.
Yet when the harbor sprang to life in the drizzling dawn, those long dead, long young faces, came back to him. Their shades seemed to gather. He was convinced of their presence. Without turning to look he could see them in his mind, crowding around him and gazing out the window as intently and hungrily as he did. Niall did not need to ask himself why they were here. None of them had lived to see the day of his homecoming, which during their flight from Sufra they longed for more than vengeance. Now, alone of them all, he was home, a lifetime too late.
By the time the merchant convoy had sailed in on the last of the making tide an hour later, the ghosts were gone. If they had ever truly been there. The ships docked, to be met by the wharf rats who had assembled to unload their cargo. Endlessly, tirelessly throughout the day the men of the docks moved and sorted crates, bales, and barrels by the hundred. Some they put straight onto wagons, which left immediately to deliver their goods to the City; others they staged to be loaded as soon as the wagons returned empty; still others they set aside for transport tomorrow.
As he watched them working, Niall began to be curious about what the larger crates contained. Some of them were big enough to hold a man. Then he had to stifle a sudden laugh. Every tale of stowaways he knew from his childhood burst into his mind. He had found his way into Narinen. The first thing he needed was to find a pry bar, which proved none too difficult in a warehouse filled with wooden boxes. The next was to discover the routine of the watchmen, a simple task in which to pass the dreary hours. There were twelve guards, one every five minutes, and an hour went by before Niall saw the same man watchman twice. Long before the day ended, it was clear that a new group of twelve came on duty every four hours.
Niall drew back from the window, exhausted and bored, but convinced he could easily slip past the watchmen. In a pitch black corner of the warehouse he sat down with his back against the wall. His sword lay naked on the floor beside him. The three days since he parted from the others had left him chilled, wet, and appallingly tired. He reminded himself of what Jalonn had said about the guards on the City walls: patterns could be broken. So he would watch the watchmen again for an hour before he left the warehouse, but first he would try for a few hours rest. Listening to the rain falling on the roof, a sound he had always loved, he allowed sleep to overcome him.
As weary as Niall was, his was the light sleep of a man expecting to hear a footfall on the stairs, and in his restless dreams he relived the cold, soaked misery of the last three days. The first night he had hastened on through the pouring darkness, often crawling in the mud to dodge the scouts who became more numerous the closer he came to the City. Several times they were close enough for him to hear them grumbling about the weather.
All the next day he had lain in a ditch full of water barely two hundred yards from the Mountain Gate, looking vainly for a way in. It was carefully guarded. The Captain of the Gate challenged all who approached, and granted entry only to those who wore the black – and, Niall assumed, knew the watchword – or who produced papers for his inspection. That night he moved again, around to the North Gate, and spent his second day studying it. Here, too, everyone was stopped and questioned. There seemed no way in except to scale the walls, but patrols along them were frequent and strong, a half dozen men or more each time. Getting over those walls unseen would be a near run thing at best.
But as he crouched in a ditch that night and tried to rest, an idea came to him. As boys, he and his friends used to swim around the seaward end of the Long Walls and into the harbor. That way seemed the best chance he had. Though he would still need to find a way through the Sea Gate, he would at least be inside the walls, where he hoped the vigilance of the dragon’s men might be more relaxed. Ships still came to Narinen, bringing goods and supplies for the troopers and the people of the City. The Sea Gate was always a scene of traffic and confusion. Perhaps he could slip through somehow.
So three hours before dawn this morning he was hiding at the base of the Long Walls down by the water, with his back pressed flat against the fine old stonework. When he was sure no guard was at hand he waded as quickly as he could into the cold water. His heart was leaping from the shock, and he had to clench his teeth against the breathtaking pain that seized his bones. The memory of the boy who once swam nearly naked in the ocean every day from late spring into autumn was lost forever in the wintry sea.
The incoming tide was strong and he had to fight hard against it, burdened as he was with his boots and clothing, weapons and pack. By the time he reached the end of the wall fifty yards from the shore, he was struggling and unsure of himself. Once he slipped under the water and in despair thought it would be so much easier to surrender and let the sea claim him. But he did not give in. His companions and his family were waiting for him.
At length he crawled from the sea on limbs that hurt yet could not feel the sand beneath them. Up beyond the high tide line were a number of fishermen’s longboats turned hull up against the rain. For a few minutes he rested among them until sensation returned to his legs and he felt able to walk again. From there he hurried, still unsteady, along the crescent shore towards the inner harbor, passing first the fishermen’s huts, then the ropewalks and other yards from which ships were fitted out, before coming to the wharves and storehouses he was seeking, right near the road which led up to the Sea Gate. He forced open a rear window and climbed into a warehouse, there to rest a little and see what dawn and high tide might bring.
Niall awoke with a start, expecting to find himself fighting the sea, or shivering in his sodden clothes. But that was yesterday, he realized after a moment, and he had been dreaming. He shook off the dreams and returned to his vigil by the window. With the clouds and rain it was difficult to know how many hours had passed, but the tide was already well in. So it had to be towards morning. He had slept through most of the night.
Outside a watchman paced by, lantern and spear in hand. He had the rolling gait of a man who had spent years on the deck of a ship, and was happily crooning to himself an old song of the sea which made Niall smile. His grandfather used to hum that tune while he worked in his garden. The next watchman by contrast seemed unhappy and a little drunk. He was muttering under his breath, and could not quite walk a straight line. Niall smiled more broadly, and let one watchman after another pass his window. He was waiting for the sailor and the drunk to return. At last the sailor came, still singing, and as soon as that man’s soft voice faded into the distance, he slipped from the warehouse and across the street onto the closest wharf.
Quickly he pried open a large crate, and set to work drawing the nails. Luckily there were only a few. Even so, the screeching of the nails as he wrenched them out of the wood seemed the loudest noise ever heard, but the sailor did not come back to investigate, and two minutes later the drunk staggered resolutely past. The next two watchmen, more silent and sober, came and went. Niall could not believe that the horrid shriek each nail made had gone unnoticed. Finally, with a shrug he climbed into the crate and pulled the lid back down as tightly as he could. The rain pounded on the lid and dripped through the seams onto his face.
“Well,” he sighed, “either this box will get me in, or they’ll bury me in it. If they bury me at all, that is.”
All there was to do was wait, for the dawn, for the opening of the dockyards, and for his blind journey to another warehouse inside the City. Several times he fought off sleep. He was still weary. The dreams his mind had raced through while he slept were anything but restful; and the two nights before this one had allowed him to snatch only a few minutes of sleep at a time, waking at every sound or change in the wind, no matter how slight. Niall shifted his weight to make himself less comfortable. It was just his luck that his crate was packed with apples, which he loved to eat, but which made for a lumpy bed.
In time daylight began to peek through the seams in the crate and the docks came to life around him. Men muttered to themselves, or engaged in low conversations about their wives and the daily concerns of home. Orders were given calmly or sharply as needed, and the wharf rats began loading the crates next to Niall onto wagons for transport. It seemed a long time before they reached his, but presently they did and very shortly thereafter the wagon rumbled down the wharf to the road.
From the starts and stops with which they proceeded, and from the driver’s cursing and shouting, Niall understood that his wagon was but one of many climbing up from the waterfront. Though it was only a mile to the Sea Gate, the trip took hours. How many Niall could not tell. A long halt at the Sea Gate itself worried him, not least because he was powerless to act and surrounded by disembodied voices which spoke in the welcome accents of his youth yet belonged to men he had to fear. When the wagon at last lurched forward again, it was only a minute or two before it turned right, probably into the Sea Merchants Street, the first intersection beyond the gateway bailey. That made sense. For the streets to the north of the Sea Gate had once been home to the shops and warehouses of the City’s most prominent merchants.
Soon the wagon turned again, the light dimmed and the rain ceased pounding on the lid. The wagon halted.  All around him Niall could hear men talking, at least a half dozen of them, the stockmen of the warehouse which the wagon had entered. They laughed and joked with each other as they complained about how heavy the crates were. Then one got away from them and splintered on the ground, provoking a tirade and the threat of lost wages from the overseer. Several of the workmen answered back with rude suggestions. All work stopped. A surly pause followed, in which Niall could feel the tension of something about to happen. Quick footsteps approached across the wooden floor, and a friendlier voice spoke.
“Let’s clean it up, lads. No harm done. Nothing seems broken.”
The men resumed their work, and when they had sorted the broken crate from its contents, began unloading the wagon again.
How different was this from the days before the Fall? Niall was unsure. Perhaps not at all. Although he knew the shops that once lined this street, he had never been inside one of these warehouses before. His family had been wealthy for centuries, and like Arden he had led a privileged life in his youth. The invisible men surrounding him worked for a day’s wages and scrambled to put bread on the table. Niall had very little idea what that was like. No one in his family did. Had life changed for them as it had for him when the dragons came? He did not know.
Suddenly the workmen slid his crate backwards and off the wagon, startling Niall out his musings. They began lowering the crate.
“Damn, that was heavy,” a voice complained after they put him down. “What’s in here?”
“Apples, it says,” a second answered.
“Apples? You’d think it was full of gold.”
“Maybe that’s dragons eat,” the second said.
“What?”
“Golden apples.”
“Quiet there,” a third voice broke in angrily, the overseer’s. “Mind your job if you want to keep it.”
Niall now felt himself moving again. There was the rumble of wheels on a wooden floor. They had set him and his crate on some sort of dolly. He stopped unexpectedly, was lifted up again, then set back down. The laborers’ voices faded as they walked off to continue with the next crate.
For a few hours more work went on all around him. More wagons came in. But no one touched his crate again, or set another on top of it. He smiled as he imagined himself trying to explain to Master Jalonn that he had missed his hour and left them standing by the postern because he had been trapped inside a box full of fruit. Agarwen would scarcely be able to contain her mirth. She would never let him forget it. Evénn no doubt would smile. Arden would frown and look away. From Jalonn he could expect a raised eyebrow, a smirk, and a withering reply about Rangers not being as resourceful as they once were.
At long last the day ended. The workmen departed, but someone remained behind for another hour or so, walking around and talking to himself as he checked what they had received against the shipping manifest. It did not sound like the overseer’s voice, but the calmer voice which had intervened in the quarrel. Niall surmised he was the owner. In time he, too, left for the evening. The lock in the door clicked shut.
Once Niall was certain the man was not coming back, he pushed the lid off the box. He was disappointed to find the warehouse scarcely less dark than the inside of the crate. A very little light seeped through the high, small windows facing the street, but in the rear wall was a brick hearth which contained the dying embers of a fire behind a heavy iron screen. At any other time its glow would have been too faint to notice. Stiff and tired from lying still so long, he went and sat down beside it to glean every last bit of its warmth. Despite the danger, he was tempted to throw another piece of wood onto the grate and stir up the coals. He remained there until the ashes were quite cold, imagining how nice it would be to sit beside a fire right now.
With a sigh he rose, and began groping his way across the room. Since the warehouse was large, it took some time to find the stairs up to the loft. They climbed steeply towards the front of the building. Each step creaked beneath his feet, as did the floor of the loft. When Niall reached his goal, two small doors directly above the main entrance through which goods not immediately needed could be hoisted up from the street below, he pushed one of them open a couple of inches and peered out. He was indeed in the Street of the Sea Merchants in the northeast quadrant of the City. That pleased him almost as much as the lessening of the rain, which he was quite tired of, whether on the roof or on his head. He had been wet for so long he thought he would soon begin to mildew.
Stepping back from the loft door, he sat down against the wall and cleaned the beginnings of rust from his weapons. He was about to eat some damp bread from his pack, but decided instead to fetch some of the apples he had spent the day with. A dozen apples later he settled in for a few hours’ sleep. He had made it into the City with a day to spare, but he did not yet know where he would go from here. A mostly dreamless sleep followed. But just before he awoke, he dreamed of the house where he had grown up, in the southeast quadrant of the City close to the square. The house was full of sunshine, and though he could see no one, he could hear the laughter of his younger sisters drifting down the stairs. He woke after midnight, feeling more rested than he had since they had been with Hansarad.
“Fine,” he said to the shadows of the warehouse, “I’ll go home.”
The shadows did not answer, nor bid him farewell as he slipped out of the loft doors and down the rope that hung from the hoist mounted outside. The streets were deserted except for a few patrols he avoided with ease. They were complacent and slack in the heart of the City. They made no effort to conceal themselves or move silently, as though they did not they did not care if anyone heard them coming. How unlike the scouts, hunters, and troopers Niall was used to. No doubt these men had it good here among the ashes. Their harsh laughter and swagger also made it clear that they were more bullies than soldiers, accustomed to preying on frightened people unable to escape or resist them. Having to hide and let them pass galled Niall, who had to admit that the discipline of the dragon’s men elsewhere merited some respect. But not here, not these men.
Though Niall always listened closely to the spare news that escaped from Narinen, no report had prepared his eyes or heart for the corruption that lay behind the beautiful façade of the white walls. The dragon fires within had burned for days after the Fall, and the sack of the City had been brutal. In a generation little had been done to repair or rebuild. No street he came to was entirely free of ruin. In most the rubble of fallen walls and buildings had been thrust aside to clear a path for wagons, but some streets were choked entirely shut. With the years many of the heaps had settled and decayed. Grass and bushes and a few saplings grew untended upon them. It was as if some mighty hand had scooped up small hills from the wild and set them randomly down in the once orderly landscape of the City. All was familiar, yet timeless and strange, as in a nightmare. He half expected to stumble over the dead.
Two hours before dawn the rain finally stopped. The clouds sailed out east to reveal the stars. And Niall came back to the street where he was born. It was near the center of the City where the fires had been worst, and only now did it occur to him that his house might not have survived. But as he looked carefully around the last corner, he saw with some relief that the home of his family for generations was still there. The upper floor was visible over the wall which shielded the courtyard from the street. Most of the roof tiles even seemed to be in place. They had probably saved it from the flames. But he was cut off from the gate. Old Sanday’s house across the way had toppled forward into the street, filling it from one side to the other. As a boy he had been impressed by the massive house and the forty foot columns which held up its overhanging roof. It made an equally impressive pile of ruins now.

Niall hung back, peering around the corner with a trepidation he had never expected. This house would have been his now, had things been different. He would have lived here with his wife – with Arden’s Sorrow – and watched their children grow. There might even be grandchildren to spoil by this time. Had things been different. But that future was as empty as the street he was looking down, and as barren as the house he was coming home to. The wife he had in this future was the choice of his heart, not of his parents; and the children he had with Lissana were far away over mountain and plain, safe for now in the Valley, like, Dorlas and Rinn, his younger children; or like his eldest son, Erinor, who was abroad with other Rangers, in peril but far from defenseless. His love for them drove off the ghosts of that other future.
Behind him he heard a noise. Someone was coming. Niall darted down the abandoned street. Scrambling up the rubble of Sanday’s house, he jumped to the top of the outer wall of his own house. Quickly he surveyed the courtyard, then dropped down into it. The footsteps dwindled and disappeared, moving west. Their steady pace suggested that the stranger had either not seen him or did not care to know what he was doing. After a moment’s pause, Niall crossed the courtyard and pushed open the door. He had come home.
Within, the darkness was more profound. Blacker patches marked the doorways into the rooms off the hallway. At its end was the main stairway to the upper floor and the family’s private quarters. To his right lay the main parlor, where they received guests, and behind it their dining room. To his left his father’s library ran all the way to the back of the house, its walls lined from the floor to the ceiling fourteen feet above with bookcases of ebony which held a treasured collection that many a visiting loremaster had envied.
As he gazed down the long hallway and his eyes adjusted to the starless dark inside, the sound of his own youthful voice crying out that he was home echoed across the years to him. In those days that cry had always brought his sisters, Rinn and Seela, running to greet him. Their laughter filled the house with joy, and laughing he had embraced them both. In the last years before the Fall Niall had often been away, sometimes for weeks or months, and each time he came home the changes that begin with childhood’s end amazed him. But their laughter never changed. It always held the same clear ring of delight that Niall now heard in the voices of his own children at their cottage door.
But the hall was silent. Niall stood just inside the door, frozen in memory and time, until the eastern sky behind him lightened to a gray-blue twilight, which showed him a house sunk deep in the dust of years and strewn with shattered furniture. He recognized the remains of the hall table and of his father’s high-backed library chair. It was out of place here, but many a night Niall had come home late to find his father in that chair. Open before him in a pool of light on his desk were volumes of history and documents of state, or, if it was very late, the songs of the ancient lyric poets who gave him respite. His father would glance up and nod if he was busy, or smile and close his book if he had time to talk.
Niall walked into the parlor, discovering more broken furniture scattered about the floor. One chair survived intact, his mother’s, alone near the windows, so that she could look out upon the garden while at her needlework or reading, and cherish the morning sunlight that helped her weak eyes do them both. A piece of embroidery, unfinished still, lay beneath it. The perpetual stack of books and the side table upon which they used to sit were both gone. Niall looked upon the room and walked on. His every step along the way raised the dust. Motes danced and sparkled in the brightening shafts of morning.
He moved into the dining room – there was no sign of the silver of course – and through it into the kitchen beyond, then back around to the front of the house through the library. The bookcases remained, nearly empty, their contents likely stolen for kindling years ago. The last time Niall stood here, thousands of volumes, bound in leather with pages of a thick, creamy white, had waited on these shelves to welcome him to the ancient courts of kings and the hearts of young lovers. Three survived. Kneeling down, he pulled them from the bottom shelf one by one and examined them. Two were history, and the third a pretty little book of poems he remembered well. In his hands they felt almost holy. He wiped their covers clean and read a few pages of each before putting them back. He asked himself how they had escaped the fires the others had gone to feed. He wondered briefly if there was still someone in the City who chose not to forget, someone who stole away here from time to time and read these books, but the only tracks in the dust were his own.
In time, with a heart full of regret, Niall reached the foot of the great stairs and looked up. It was lit by a window high above the landing. As he began to climb he could hear water dripping somewhere upstairs, rain that had found its way through the tiles on the roof. At the top of the stairs he came to his parents’ room first of all. Broad and spacious, it spanned nearly the whole front of the house. Two smaller rooms, fine places of peace and privacy, one for each of his parents, adjoined it on either end. Their bed had been hacked into many pieces, by axes it seemed, the mattress slashed, the curtains that once surrounded it torn down.
Turning back to the rear of the house, he looked the other way as he passed his sisters’ room and entered his own. It sat above the kitchen, a position he had prized as a hungry young man in the middle of the night. Nothing remained except for the portrait of his grandfather’s grandfather, the sea captain whom he had idolized as a boy and whom the sea had swallowed up over a century earlier. The painting itself was strangely untouched, but the frame which he and his uncle had made and covered in gold leaf had been taken.
Outside his sisters’ room Niall paused for a long while. The door was shut, the only one in all the house, and this frightened him. To contemplate the Fall of the City from his new life far away, to hear the tale told by Arden and the one or two others he knew who had been here, was not the same as seeing the devastated streets and walking the rooms of his own home. For in thought and hearing there was pain, but pain at a remove; losses were suffered unwitnessed. As he stood here now, poised at this door, his heart crashed in his chest and the dust of loss rose up to choke him. Niall tasted the bitterness of Arden’s heart. He needed no urging to hate the dragons, but he hated them all the more now.
Niall opened the door and walked in. The room was untouched. Windows in the western and southern walls allowed ample light in. Rinn and Seela’s beds faced each other across the room just as he remembered, their plump pillows neatly placed and their covers smooth and straight. Books were piled on the two small desks where the girls had done their lessons. A hair brush and hand mirror lay on Seela's dressing table by the unbroken west window. The doors of their armoires stood open, revealing their clothing. The room looked just lived in. The dust here did not even seem so deep. No more, perhaps, than might accumulate when the girls went away for the summer to visit their mother’s parents at their home in the south.
Niall exhaled and sat down on the nearer bed. The mattress was deep, soft, and tempting. He had feared to open the door. He had not wanted to see his sisters’ room ravaged and broken, soulless and bare. Instead he found it as he remembered it, just empty and quiet. It calmed him to sit there a while, his hands flat upon his knees, and visit in silent memory. But in time the bed proved almost too inviting, and Niall had to stand up.
Crossing the room he stood between the further bed and the western window to look out upon his City on a sunny winter’s morning. When he turned away from the window some minutes later, he spied something white on the floor partly concealed beneath the bed. It was a ball. With a smile he bent down to pick it up, thinking he might take it as a keepsake for his own children. But it was not a ball, as he grasped the instant before he touched it. It was a skull, of someone young, barely more than a child. Niall hesitated before picking it up, but he took it and held it to his chest a long time before he dared look at it.
“Oh, which one were you?” he cried faintly as he looked, and sank to his knees, forgetful of all the world.

________________________