"That's what Bilbo Baggins Hates!" Tolkien Reading Day (+1) 2017

frange vitra et catilla!
cultros tunde, furcas flecte!
Bilbo Baggins odit illa --
nunc et cortices incende! 

textum seca, sebum calca!
lactem funde cellae terra!
linque in tapeto ossa!
vinum sperge super porta!
has patellas aestu lava;
has contunde magna clava;
si nonnulla sint intacta, volve ea e culina! 

Bilbo Baggins odit illa!
cave! cave! haec catilla!

(translation by Mark Walker, "Hobbitus Ille" ©  HarperCollins Publishers Ltd 2012)

Chip the glasses and crack the plates!
Blunt the knives and bend the forks!
That’s what Bilbo Baggins hates –
Smash the bottles and burn the corks! 

Cut the cloth and tread on the fat!
Pour the milk on the pantry floor!
Leave the bones on the bedroom
mat! Splash the wine on every door!
Dump the crocks in a boiling bowl;
Pound them up with a thumping pole;
And when you’ve finished, if any
are whole, Send them down the hall to roll!

That’s what Bilbo Baggins hates!
So, carefully! carefully with the plates!